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  • Verdicks

RANTS-The Purpose of a Garage

In case you forgot, a garage is used to house your car(s). Let me say that again for the folks in the back...the purpose of a garage is to store your car when not in use. It is not:


  1. A storage unit for your shit.

  2. An additional living space attached to your house.

  3. A home gym.

  4. A woodworking shop.

  5. A venue for your band. (If your neighbor wanted to hear some Nickleback they would cue up Spotify)


Data shows that 82% of all homes in America are equipped with 2 car garage homes. Out of that 82%, only 15% use their garage to park their car inside. That is insane!


Follow my logic for a moment...the average cost of a car in the USA is $35,000. The average family has 2 cars. That means the average family’s automobile equity tops out around $70,000. If only 15% of the population utilizes a garage for its intended purpose, have the other 67% decided that it is more important to ensure the integrity of the massive piles of shit you intend to sell at the next neighborhood garage sale (because that is really what the stuff is) instead of a $70,000 asset? Or better yet, the unlabeled cardboard boxes infested with silverfish that you haven’t touched since you moved in have a value equal to or greater than your cars? I’m calling bullshit!


With a little bit of effort and some common sense, you can easily purge your garage of anything undesirable AND efficiently store what remains in a manner that allows you to actually use your garage for what it is for. Do yourself a favor, don’t be that guy. I promise you, if you have cars parked in the driveway and/or in front of your home, your community is 100% talking shit about you. God help you if you have the balls to park vehicles in front of a home you don’t own. In that case, I would insist on always making your own drink and getting your own food at neighborhood get-togethers. Better yet, log on to Zillow right now and start searching for your next home. It was a good run, but it’s time to move on.


There is a reason that every single real estate listing since the beginning of time does not show a photo with cars parked in the driveway. Take a hint!


If you are reading this and you feel like it is a direct attack on your existence. It is. If you are reading this and find yourself thinking, “What a dick, we have 3 cars and only a 2 car garage.” This rant does not apply to you. While the fact remains that everyone would prefer a clean empty driveway, there is simply nothing you can do. Despite what everyone thinks, I am not a big enough asshole to suggest you buy a home with a 3 car garage. Even I have morals, which is more than I can say for our friends pitching their garage as the next location for storage wars.


Shields up.



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