RANTS: An Open Letter to the Tater-Haters

Can anybody out there really tell me that they have nothing else going on in their lives that their main concern is the gender identification of a plastic potato play toy? A toy that since its creation has encouraged you to mix and match body parts in any configuration you choose? What sort of psycho took their blank spud out of the box, assembled it as a traditional male (or female) and then never changed it from that?

I am assuming that whenever you, your children, or grandkids took the cat or dog face from your potato pet and put it on the “Mr.” potato body (because you can clearly tell the difference in sex on the blank potato canvas) you quickly reprimanded them and demanded they use the proper gender conforming role that was assigned from the box, right? Fucking insecure weirdo. Whether intended or not, the toy has always inspired a representation of gender ambiguity, you just never seemed to care until a title was removed from the packaging (that you probably threw away anyway)?

Fun fact, Mr. or Mrs. will still be on the box, all that was planned to happen was the line of toys (potato pet, person, etc.) was renamed under one umbrella of potato head (which it literally is). It should have always been called potato head. Why this even made the news and why anybody actually cares is the real problem here.

Also, for a group of people that complain about everyone being so sensitive, you sure as shit get butt-hurt as fuck over shit like this! Good luck dealing with your non-existent problems crying over a product re-branding.

Until next time, shields up! XOXO

The DMan (former child, father, rational thinking adult with actual real life problems)